I have reached the conclusion that living in Israel permanently damages your ability to take the rest of the world seriously.
It just does.
You wake up.
Drink your coffee.
Drive past a vineyard older than half the countries giving us lectures.
Wave at a reserve soldier buying bourekas.
Hear kids arguing in Hebrew like the language didn’t spend nearly two thousand years refusing to die.
Then you open social media.
“Israel isn’t real.”
…
Mate.
Reality itself has already lost that argument.
Let’s appreciate how absolutely unhinged this place is.
Every empire in history looked at the Jews and basically said,
“Pack your bags.”
The Jews looked back like,
“Nah.”
History:
“No seriously.”
The Jews:
“Nah.”
History:
“I’ve got Rome.”
“Nah.”
“I’ve got Babylon.”
“Nah.”
“I’ve got the Crusaders.”
“Nah.”
“I’ve got exile.”
“Nah.”
“I’ve got two thousand years.”
“Nah.”
Eventually history just got tired and wandered off.
The Jews came back and started arguing about parking.
That’s the story.
That’s literally the story.
Imagine trying to explain Zionism to an alien.
“So these people got kicked out…”
“Okay.”
“They kept talking about going home for two thousand years.”
“That’s… commitment.”
“Then they actually did.”
“…Excuse me?”
“They revived the language.”
“What?”
“They rebuilt the country.”
“WHAT?”
“They turned the desert green.”
“…”
“They export cybersecurity now.”
“I’m calling my supervisor because none of this sounds professionally believable.”
Then there’s aliyah.
This absolutely melts my brain.
Every country during war becomes emotionally unavailable.
“We regret to inform you…”
“Applications are delayed…”
“Border restrictions…”
Israel?
“ANY MORE JEWS?”
“We’ll build another neighborhood.”
“Grab another chair.”
“Someone make more coffee.”
It’s like a family wedding.
You weren’t invited.
You’re expected.
Only Israel could hear air raid sirens and still go,
“So… who else is coming home?”
That isn’t confidence.
That’s generational stubbornness with a national budget.
Israelis are completely feral.
You can watch one guy spend the morning in reserve duty…
the afternoon raising ten million dollars…
the evening arguing over whether one hummus place has “lost its soul”…
and before bed he’ll spend forty-five minutes explaining why his cousin is an idiot because he bought tomatoes from the wrong supermarket.
The man’s blood pressure is powered by olive oil and opinions.
Jerusalem is another level.
Who designed those roads?
A mountain goat with emotional issues?
Every street becomes another street.
Every alley somehow existed before mathematics.
Google Maps doesn’t navigate Jerusalem.
It just starts praying.
Then the world says Israel is temporary.
Temporary?
My brother in history…
The Assyrians are temporary.
The Babylonians are temporary.
The Romans are temporary.
The Ottoman Empire?
Temporary.
The Soviet Union?
Temporary.
Blockbuster Video?
Temporary.
The Jewish people apparently forgot to read the memo.
Three thousand years later we’re still here, still arguing, still planting vineyards, still building hospitals, still filling playgrounds with Jewish kids, still welcoming Jews home from every corner of the planet.
And here’s the bit that absolutely breaks people’s brains.
Most nations are built around geography.
Israel is built around memory.
Around family.
Around a promise.
Around a people who spent centuries refusing to throw away the key because they knew one day they were coming back to unlock the front door.
And then…
They did.
Honestly?
Living here feels like accidentally walking into the last page of the Bible and discovering someone added Wi-Fi, high-speed rail plans, startup founders, espresso, and a bloke yelling at you because you’re standing in the wrong queue.
It’s magnificent.
It’s loud.
It’s beautiful.
It’s exhausting.
It’s the only country I know where archaeology keeps interrupting construction because someone accidentally found another piece of Jewish history.
Imagine digging a hole for a shopping center and history pops up like,
“Excuse me… King Hezekiah left this here.”
At this point I fully expect road crews to uncover Moses’ lost shopping list.
Nothing would surprise me anymore.
That’s Israel.
It isn’t just alive.
It is history refusing to sit down and shut up.
And I absolutely love every ridiculous second of it.
I had to laugh about the construction being interrupted by history. The only other place that happens is England. Someone dug up Richard III under a parking lot in Leicester.
Glory to Hashem 🙏